I'm going to feel really weird if I get ungreyed status on Gawker before I get it on Jezebel.

I was reading Jezebel way back in the days of Anna Holmes, "audition" comments, and LOLVogue. I hadn't realized back then in '07 that this was a relatively new community, and I am so anxiety-ridden that it took me months of lurking before I found the bravery to comment; I was out of comment purgatory within 3-4 goes and into the gang. My name back then was AuntieBee, my avatar was an old-timey photo of two ladies grilling weiners, and I commented some but never a lot. Eventually, I got starred and I was unabashedly pleased about it. When the restructure happened the first time (I think) and we were asked to re-register, I didn't. I had changed jobs and hadn't been so able to comment on articles in a timely way, so I let AuntieBee go and just went back to lurking. I remember the various exoduses of Jezebelles and -beaux, and there are commenter names that I don't see anymore and I wonder if they're just like me, under a different name now or if they went and stayed away. I never managed to stay away.

Last year I started using a burner for a while (name: LeBecFin), and before long I was finally back in the fold, properly and with an email address attached. But I was never prolific enough to get name-recognition, not even back then, and being anxiety-riddled to this day I doubt I will be now. It should annoy me to be back in the grey, six years later, but it doesn't really.

One of the features I really like with the latest iteration of Jezebel and friends is that I can comment on other sites in the family. I've always found Gawker a little scarier than Jez but I read a lot there too, of course. And I like that I don't have to re-enroll to be in the conversation in both places. I'm really enjoying seeing regulars from the other sites popping up in the comments at Jezebel, too. It's a great opportunity for interesting conversations and overall, I think it's great for the community as a whole.

That said, I get as many little blue stars over there as I do here, and it hit me this afternoon that there is a real possibility that I will get full commenter status at Gawker before I do at Jezebel. And I will feel weird about that.